So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
