Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Found your dick twin last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
