There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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