I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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