Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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