He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
