Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Green mimosas i think yes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
