I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
