apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
