Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
