who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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