How'd it feel making her break her religion?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
