You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
