Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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