she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
