She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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