Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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