Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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