Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
