I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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