I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
