Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
