you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
