he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
