Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
