what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
