Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
