My hand turned me down
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
