did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
