I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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