Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
