i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
