hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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