butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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