Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
