She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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