all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
