i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
