everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
