Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
