we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
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