Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
