oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
