found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
