So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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