only if we run a train.
done.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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