Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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