thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
