It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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