Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
